Yellow Star
by Xeldablade
Summary: Jim Kirk sometimes walk alone at night on the Enterprise, but this time he finds the ship's navigator to enjoy it with. A little story in dedication to Anton Yelchin. Rest in Peace.


**I have seen many beautiful artworks, edits, videos, and others dedicated to Anton after his passing. They have helped me immensely in this time of grief, and writing this little story has also given me that experience. I hope that perhaps it can help others as well.**

 **(Also, for what it's worth: I didn't realize this until I already finished writing it, but this story goes along very well with the song Yellow by Coldplay, just in case you're interested.)**

* * *

 _Dedicated to Anton Yelchin. Rest in Peace._

* * *

The corridors were always so empty at this time of night. Although it wasn't exactly night, since typical Earth days don't exist in space, Jim Kirk considers it so since the senior staff were all off duty and the ship's clocks read sometime after 0100 in their simulated time. When he wanders the halls at this time, like he frequently does when he can't seem to keep his eyes closed, it is a rare occurrence that he encounters others.

So when he reaches the observation deck he is surprised to find he isn't the only one there. He's about to back away, not wanting to disturb the crewmember in their solitude, when he recognizes a curly haired young man with a small stature facing away from him, looking out of a large window with utmost intent. Even at this hour, he was still wearing his yellow uniform.

"Mr. Chekov," Kirk greets brightly as he walks closer to the window.

The Ensign turns with abruptness to face his superior officer. "Keptain!" he almost shouts in surprise, his back now stiff and proper. He has a big smile on his face that betrays his crisp and formal posture, but Kirk couldn't care less.

The young Russian's smile was always too contagious to ignore, so Kirk couldn't help but beam at him when he says, "At ease. And please, when we're not on duty, just call me Jim." The younger man nods and relaxes, looking back towards space. "So what are you doing up here so late?"

"I come here sometimes when I am feeling wery homesick," he explains in his usual Russian accent, something the entire crew found endearing. He points out the window to what could be any star, really, but Kirk knows it isn't. "Earth's sun is right zhere. You can almost see Russia from here."

Kirk has no idea which star exactly he's talking about. And even if he did, he's absolutely positive he couldn't see the earth revolving around it, let alone seeing a country on it. "Chekov, don't take this personally but…how do you know for sure if you're looking at the right star?"

"Well Keptain, I _am_ ze ship's navigator," he says happily. "It ees my job."

"I _guess_ that's true," Kirk says, jokingly reluctant to agree, as if Chekov wasn't the best navigator in the fleet. "And remember, like I said, call me Jim."

"Aye, right. Sorry, Kep—I mean, Jim, sorry."

That makes Kirk grin, and as he watches the Ensign observe the stars he wonders just how much family he has on Earth. Homesickness never seemed to be much of an issue for the captain; he had left Iowa for Starfleet, and then had left the Academy to be on a starship. Other than his mom and brother, the closest thing he had to a family was here on the Enterprise.

Earth had little to offer him now. But he wouldn't have it any other way.

He does understand what Chekov is feeling, though. Jim loves away missions, and loves to explore new planets and encounter new species. It gives him a rush, the feeling of adrenaline hot under his skin, pushing him to take chances and see more things. But despite that feeling, and how much he craves new discoveries, he can't imagine undergoing these trials with anyone else but his crewmates. Away missions are thrilling, but there's always some relief once his feet are off a planet's solid ground and back on the familiarity of his ship.

And as Kirk watches Chekov, as equally mesmerized by the stars as Jim often finds himself, he can't help but look at him like a little brother. Even since the Academy days Kirk has always been protective of the Russian, looking out for him, subtly making sure he was well from the sidelines. The rest of the crew felt the same way; Chekov was the youngest crewmember on the Enterprise and although he could certainly handle his own, they couldn't help but be defensive of the 'wiz kid,' as they fondly called him at times.

Kirk looks out the window again, wondering if Chekov actually did know not only what most of these stars were but also the planets that surrounded them and how long it would take to get there. It really wouldn't surprise him, knowing how smart the boy was. He had probably memorized constellation maps from the viewpoints of different planets, calculated the trajectory from where they were now, figuring which stars were what, and also memorizing the planets that surrounded each one. And he probably did it all in his head. Kirk was by no means unintelligent, but it was clear that Chekov had a gifted mind, one that he populated with both unfathomable curiosity and extensive knowledge in which Kirk himself just simply couldn't compare. It was one of the many qualities Kirk admired about him.

"So," he starts, which seems abrupt in the peaceful silence that fell between them. "Millions of places to go out there, plenty of different life forms to meet, and the whole universe in front of us… Where do you wanna go next, Pavel?"

Chekov thinks for a moment before responding. "Aye, I don't know, sir! Anyvhere? Any place could be a great adwenture!"

Kirk smiles as his excited companion seems to be bouncing in place, presumably at the prospect of learning new things, continuing to fill that big brain of his. But the captain understood his elation. "Couldn't have said it better myself."

And he was excited to go on these adventures as well. With his crew by his side, he felt invincible. They were reliable, charismatic and bright, and he couldn't possibly ask for anyone better to get the job done. He didn't know what had happened, how the universe had given him such a gift, how everything had aligned in the way that it had. All he knew was that he didn't deserve them, and that he didn't want to be in whatever universe it was that everything worked out the way it really should have, where he would be away from the ship and people he cared most about.

He felt sorry for Chekov, knowing that there were plenty of people that he missed and that missed him in return. Sending distant messages just isn't the same as seeing people you love in person, feeling their warmth when you embrace them, not numerous light-years away in the immensity of space.

He tries to think of a way to make him feel better. He tries to remember all of the things he knew Pavel liked. For awhile, all he can think of was Russia.

"Hey, do you play chess?" Kirk asks nonchalantly. He happened to know that Chekov had a certain affinity with the game.

Immediately, the Ensign's eyes light up and he stands straighter. "Aye! Do you play?"

"I'll let you be the judge of that." Kirk smirks and shrugs as he begins to walk away towards the door, Pavel following with eagerness. "But remember we have that meeting in the morning, so we shouldn't stay up too late."

"No problem, sir. I vill just have coffee and-"

"No," Kirk says firmly. "You are not drinking any more coffee. Not after the last time."

"But sir! I vill sit still zis time, I promise!"

Kirk watches him for a moment. "I don't know… Maybe we'll see what Bones has to say about that. I don't think he would want to threaten you with a tranquilizing hypo again."

Chekov seems to remember the doctor's behavior and irascibility that day, because he agrees. He turns to look towards Earth one last time before they leave as he says, "I bet you don't know vhere chess vas inwented!"

Kirk feigns deep thought and rubs his chin. "Hmm let me think…in Russia, right?"

"Aye…" Pavel says in a distant manner, as if trying to remember something at the same time. "Uh, have I said zat before?"

The captain smiles and claps his back as they walk. "You may have mentioned it once."

They leave the observation deck and the door shuts behind them. The stars shine in their wake, each as wondrous and mystifying as the next, just waiting to be discovered.

* * *

 _"To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure." -J.K. Rowling_

* * *

 _To Anton~_

 _I never knew you in person, but I knew_ of _you, and that was more than enough to make a significant impact on my life. You were one of the reasons that Star Trek became so important to me, why it now feels like a home, a safe place. I watched these newer movies_ _before anything else in the realm of Star Trek, so while I do love Walter's portrayal of Chekov, it was your Chekov that I loved first. The intelligence you brought to the character along with his heart is something that has always resonated with me._

 _Through your Chekov I learned that age does not set boundaries for what you can achieve. Rank does not put restraints on your own value, your abilities, and how you can impact others. Never be afraid to do the scary thing if it is also the right thing. Follow orders, but also never be afraid to follow your heart._

 _Any time I think to myself, "I can do that", it automatically corrects itself to your voice, Chekov's voice, and it never fails to make me smile. I have also formed a habit of saying "Aye" in various situations, and I always think of you. There are many other instances where these types of mannerisms happen in my daily life, like if I need motivation to study for school I think of how smart Chekov is, or even if it is something as simple as the mention of Russia. So it goes without saying that I will never forget you or the character you brought to life. For that, I cannot thank you enough, but I suppose this is a start._

 _So thank you, for everything. You have changed my life, and I could not be more grateful._


End file.
